Where did it come from?

As always, I am continuously contemplating, thinking about, planning for... adoption! It's in the back of my mind on a regular basis (job hunting and school are at the forefront these days). This week, I asked myself exactly from where did the idea of adoption come? What led me down that road? Prior to having lil man, I think I was always motivated to have my own children. Hubby made a comment too about the "sudden" change in plans. Something tickled the adoption antennae.... what was it? From where did the idea materialize?

As I thought about this question this week, I realized that I "got the idea" after watching an episode of Run's house. Although there were instances in my past that foreshadowed and pointed me to adoption (i.e. my brother wanting to give up his two kids, my aunt adopting a son, my talking to my sister and mom about adopting after my aunt's son came home), I still sort of pushed those thoughts to the side. After all, I could have my own...that is until I saw an episode of Run's house. In all frankness, watching the episode, where Justine and Rev. Run discussed adoption, albeit briefly, after the loss of their newborn child. At the sound of the word, "adoption," the heavens opened up and a great hand knocked me upside the head. Ok, maybe not that drastic but that was my ah-hah! moment. Why hadn't I thought of adoption before (ummm.. yeah, I had... but pushed the thoughts aside, remember... duh)?? I thought, we could adopt! We could open our hearts and home to a child!! Wow! Again, why hadn't I thought of this before!??!

I ran upstairs (at the time we were living in a great 2 story rental. The rooms were HUGE!) to the loft-office and began my research. Foster Care? International? If International, from where? A Caribbean Island? Africa? Haiti? What age child? Or children?? How many children? Oh the choices! I was in heaven!! Sure the thought crossed my mind to discuss with hubby, but I wanted to have all the information first: the where, how many, how much questions. I found the foster care site for my state and immediately signed up for an orientation. I started researching different countries and signed up for Rainbow kids. After reading about Haiti's plight and it's close proximity to the U.S. I committed to finding about the adoption process. I signed up for various yahoo groups concerning both Haiti and Foster care, started a blog, and began seeking out others who were either had adopting from, were considering adopting from or in process of adopting from Haiti or Foster care. I ordered and searched the local library for adoption books.

That was... about 3.5 years ago. 2.5 years ago, hubby was adamant and non-responsive to adding to our family, be it adoption or birth. Today, he's much more receptive and has agreed that 2 more would be nice (what a CHANGE! PRAISE GOD). Of course I keep pushing the numbers of children up -- there are sooo many sets of African american siblings that are 3 or 4 children in foster care; it's hard not to think of upping the number just a bit more. I seriously need help knowing my limit, LOL. 4 seems like a great number to me (2 boys and 2 girls) but 5... well 5 seems like a great number too! Oh the choices! 3 is my hubby's limit and I think I can live with that... maybe... possibly.... hmmmm... 2 boys, 1 girl and 1 dog... hmmm... a little off kilter but that's ok. I'll take that. Who knows, his heart may change yet again and 4 would be his number. I constantly question my ability to parent 4 or 5 kids or the difficulty involved in going from 1 to 4 or from 1 to 5. I probably will still ponder this question until my children are grown and out of the house, lol!

So where are we now? At the present, we are working very hard to pay down/pay off debt which means I need to find employment. So far although I've not had any luck in that area but I continue, we have managed to pay off 1 or 2 bills. God has been GOOD! As I continue to apply for various positions, I am studying very hard in my current classes at LaSalle and hope to be accepted into NAU's Speech Language Assistance certification program (I am still waiting for notification of their decision) which will allow me to start working in my new field at the beginning of next year. Pray for me! My summer schedule will be quite full should I get accepted as I will need to attend both schools simultaneously, taking a total of 4 classes this summer. Luckily both sets of classes are online and NAU's classes are split into 5 week sessions. I'll let you know in August how I fare, LOL.

In addition to the above, we are scheduled to go to an adoption education informational class in May (need to find a baby sitter: hmmm a college nannies flier came in the mail... maybe a sign from God?) and we are talking about things such as adoption in general, adopting older children, our different parenting styles, boy vs girl parenting (because you can't treat boys and girls the same so I've been told) and much, much more.

It's been an amazing journey! Full of ups and downs, disappointment and encouragement. Who knew?!? 3.5 years ago adoption was brought to my attention. 3.5 years ago, hubby adamantly decided there would be no more children. Today, the possibilities are endless and the search for new family members starts anew. We may yet be still a few months to a year out, but only God knows the time line and I intend to let him to continue to lead us.

Blessings!