His first "words" were: FEAR me. This is not fear in the sense that we know it. It is fear in the sense of trust and honor. TRUST me. Honor me. Bow to me. My pastor said that we rely more on"things" that will not pass away(his examples: emails, Internet, hobbies);these things will remain when we are LONG gone from this earth. We concern ourselves with the 'worldly' things and not with the spiritual things. We rush home to these "things" that are not important at all; God is important. Yet we do not "rush" to know Him; we do not "rush" to read and understand his word; we do not "rush" to TRUST him. . Through this message, God said to me: " The only way this will work is if you TRUST me."
Even when it doesn't make sense, TRUST God. (Even during these more financially crazy times, TRUST HIM).
Yet God was not through with me. His second 'words" were: Submit to me. My pastor asks, Do you trust him?? Are you listening??? My first reaction was, of course Lord, I am listening.. then my pastor said: " God speaks through our spouses, our children and our friends." Whoa! Wait! Hold on a second... So my hubby's reluctance to adoption could actually be God telling me no? Could that really be the case? hmmm... something to ponder... but not at this point. My pastor continues: "So what are you going through right now? Have you submitted it all to God, regardless of what it is? God wants it ALL." No I haven't. His message to me here was "SUBMIT it ALL to ME."
Daily I have prayed for God to Decrease me and to Increase HIM, particularly with adoption. I want this to be of God, not of me. I want HIM to guide me, to direct my path. With my human eyes, I only see disappointment, financial inability, inaccessibility, spousal reluctance. Yet God owns it all and he sees SOO much more. If only I would just turn it over to him; if only I would just TRUST him. Turn over the reluctant spouse; turn over the grief and pain of not being able to start on the process now; turn over the financial inability. Submit it ALL to HIM and let HIM deal with it. Trust his decision in the matter.
"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, and he will make your paths straight.”
Prov. 3:5
Prov. 3:5
So, my friends, my research is nearly complete. I have read as many books on adoption as anyone could possibly read (there are still for me to read I am sure. I will continue to read adoption books in between my bible study). I have read online articles, subscribed to online support groups (in which I will stay). I know what country. I know which orphanage I'd like for us to adopt from. What I don't know is when. And I can't force it nor can I predict when it will be. God is the father of ALL things. He knows the plan he has for my family. He knows what HE has to do. I can't tell him what to do or when to do it.
I have to turn it over to HIM. I have to SUBMIT it all , pray, and wait.
I say that I TRUST God, yet I "believe" I know better for my family. I have it all backwards. Ok, Lord. I hear you loud and clear.
Thank you for sharing the words you heard and what you learned. They have been a powerful message for me as well!! Definitely words I needed to hear for some things in my own life.
ReplyDeleteFor what it's worth, my own husband was a very reluctant spouse at the beginning - and most points on the road we've travelled. Every time, prayer and humility was needed on MY part to reach a new place - and often that included a willingness to let the Lord speak to me through my spouse or to trust my spouses feelings as "good enough", if that makes sense. Anyway, not that it will work the same for another couple - but 23 adoptions later, it's been FAR different than either of us had ever planned on. God had a much bigger plan for us than we ever had for ourselves - we've had to learn to give up our control and realize that we never had much anyway....:-)
Wishes for all good things in your family!
Theresa